I was married at Mathura at the age of 19 and I got a short-tempered wife. Her name was Bhagwati. She died in the latter-half of 1949. I was also very short- tempered at that time. But I learned tolerance in her company. That helped me in my spiritual pursuit also. When I went to the feet of the Master, my rage began to fade away. I complained to him many times about it in my diary. After some time He asked me a question whether, in my angry mood, senses are lost. I said, “Not at all”. He confirmed that senses were not lost. Thereafter, even in rage, I behave properly.

Now I am telling the secret of success in all matters. Remove doubts and develop confidence in yourself, you will succeed in all your pursuits. Really speaking, if any body wants to poison his will he should create doubt in himself. Honesty and seriousness in all work brings good fruit. I left all these things as useless and started deep breathing exercise which used to keep my mind very calm. I would hold my breath for seven and a half minutes. I practiced it for about six years, and gave it up altogether when I reached the Feet of my Master.

Somehow I came to know that there was a good guide Samarth Guru Mahatma Shri Ram Chandra Ji Maharaj at Fatehgarh (U.P.). I was tempted to go there as soon as possible. One fine morning – the 3rd of June 1922 – I reached the feet of the Master. When I sat in meditation, as I was directed to, I found a condition highly convincing to me. Immediately the thought arose, “I have found the Master.” My decision mentioned earlier compelled me to take Him as my own Master. After coming back from my Master I continued the practice, but not so deeply as I had to appear in the Matric and S.S.L.C. examination. After passing the examination, I took up service in the Judge’s Court at Shahjahanpur on the 12th of January 1925, and retired as Record Keeper in 1956. My Master, who served in the Collectorate of Fatehgarh, also retired as Record Keeper. The officers under whom I served were very happy with my work, and valued me very much on account of my honesty, integrity and good work. My general behavior with my fellow clerks was extraordinarily good.

In my life I always placed justice higher than self advantage. For instance, a colleague of mine had joined service a couple of days earlier than I. In the following years we were transferred to different sections, and later were re-posted to positions with the same designation and grade. It happened that my colleague joined this new posting a couple of days later than I did, thus officially becoming my junior. When a vacancy for the next promotion arose my colleague appealed that should get the promotion on the ground of original date of his appointment. My officers, who were more favourably disposed towards me, summoned me in this connection. Even though it was a tempting occasion for substantial personal benefit, I told them the fact that my colleague was the senior, though he had joined the present post later, and that he should be given the promotion. He got it, and developed a great regard for me.

If I fell into any official difficulty, every one from the lowest to the highest would sympathise with me. Not only that, my officers also were very helpful. The officers used to trust me so much that whatever draft or order I prepared was signed without any hesitation. I also took care to draft orders faithfully and carefully.

It so happened that a clerk, on account of caste prejudice, teased me so much that I made up my mind to resign service. I had been appointed to this post for the first time, and did not know the work. He did not help me at all; instead, he always spoke ill of me to the Munsarim of the Munsif’s Court. The result was that I went to the Munsif and told him all the facts including my intention to resign from service.

Mr. Maharaja Bahadur, the Munsif, said, “As long as I am here you must not resign. I will teach you the work, because I will not get such an honest man.” And he did so. When I was encouraged by him I began to study the Acts and Regulations, and learnt some other work also. Honesty pays in the end; and dishonesty only in the beginning, if at all!

In a month’s time, with hard work, I was quite prepared to do the work allotted to me nicely. I had also told the difficulties to my father and said to him, “I want to resign from this post and f you will not allow it I will commit suicide.”My father replied. “Leave the service immediately”. But I continued in the service as I was encouraged to by my officer. I had no enmity with that man and never changed my behavior towards him. In other words, I behaved with a little love also with him. People call me simple. I think they are right in so calling me. The incident developed to such an extent that I was ready to commit suicide, but I never changed my behavior. A little love was also there, because my motto is, “if any body does not do his duty to me why should I leave my duty to him?” In other words, if any body falls short of his duty why should I fall short of my duty to him! What I do for you, it is my duty; What you do not do for me, it is your duty. It is also my nature that if anybody obliges me an inch, I try to repay it. But what-so-ever I may do in return, the obligation remains the same.

I am sorry to write that Nature’s curse fell upon him and nobody is left in his family. After his death I supported his son who was also an employee of the Judge’s Court, but he also died. People do so many awkward things in their short tenure of life without minding the club of justice from God. My officers wrote the following remarks in my Character Roll:

“I was satisfied with his work. He is a quiet soul, and good at his work.” (2nd Sept. 1929)

“He is efficient and hard working, and has given me full satisfaction with his work. He has an enviable reputation for strict honesty.” (5th Jan. 1949)

“As Munsarim his work has been thoroughly satisfactory. He is a careful and hard working official, and is generally known to be scrupulously honest.” (6th July 1949)

“Efficient and unassuming; reputed to be scrupulously honest.”

“He believes in leading a pious life and adheres to that principle in his official life also.” (3rd July 1953)

“An unassuming and quiet worker with a very good reputation for leading a saintly life.” (17th Jan. 1955)

“He leads a very saintly life and adheres to his high principles in his day-to-day affairs, and his very conscious of his duties as a Record Keeper. He had effective control of the Record Room and I was very much satisfied with his work.” (21st Feb. 1955)

On retirement: - “He earned an enviable reputation for honesty and disciplined life; Worked assiduously but in all unassuming manner and can, I think, serve as a model for the ministerial staff which is the poorer for his retirement.”

I also got a letter of honour from Shri A. G. Khare, President, Prantiya Bharat Sevak Samaj.

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