At the Feet of The Master-The Autobiography of Ram Chandra Vol I

As mentioned before, I reached the feet of the Master on 3rd June 1922 to receive Transmission from Him for the first time. As the effect of it I felt that I had moved u to a level where the surroundings were very much different from those of the external atmosphere. This feeling persisted, and I remained in that condition for several days. I started meditation not a Divine Light as is prescribed in the Shri Ram Chandra Mission, but on my Master’s form, seeing Him in my heart. This was quite spontaneous and automatic, and I went on with it.

I sincerely took up the method of meditation after I passed the S.S.L.C. and Matriculation examination. Within six months, I saw in meditation that the whole of my heart was filled with soothing light, and a plant full of light was emitting forth light from all its branches and leaves. I continued practice. Six months later, I noticed a peculiar thing in my heart, that my heart was reciting the word “Om”. This we call Ajapa. How does it start? If the Master infuses it with His Divine Power it starts immediately. If it is left to the abhyasi, it gives a shaking to the heart twice or thrice when it starts. It also starts throughout the particles of the body which we call Anahanta.

Some people have practiced Ajapa by reciting Mantras repeatedly in the heart. It is artificial. If the practice of reciting is given up for some time. Ajapa is gone. Introduction of the true state of Ajapa is possible only if the Master has the power of Transmission. Transmission is the only thing which takes the abhyasi to the higher regions. Self effort fails after reaching some region because as you go up you come in contact with the subtle force of Divinity, and it pushes the abhyasi down because he cannot get at it. There the Master of high calibre who has command over the regions is needed.

When Ajapa started, I was so proud of it that I said to my Master, ‘I have got Ajapa now.’ When it gets a toy a baby is very happy. As he grows old, happiness also travels on. Similar was the case with me. When my Master had given me the knowledge, I came to know that I have to swim the unfathomable ocean.

In 1924 I felt an ubiquitous force present in every animate and inanimate object and particle. I was drowned in the sea of wonder. I felt God pervading every thing like broad daylight.

These things are but a grain of Divinity in comparison to the higher sates. A man should never be satisfied at any stage he comes across, because “on and on” is the voice of experience. The things went on, and I entered region after region by His Grace. During the summer vacation I started playing cards, devoting four or five hours a day to it. It continued for a week or so. The result was that during my time in bed I used to remember playing cards instead of thinking of my Master, as had been my practice. My Master told me in a dream, “You should give up playing cards.” Since that time till today I have not played cards at all.

During meditation another change in my inner feeling was that the idea of God seemed to be lost to me, yielding place to that of my Master, and Master alone. To me there was no God but my Master. I went on with it regardless of all other things, till I reached the level expressed by my Master in the following words in a dream when he left the mortal frame” “I became ‘Thee’ and Thou ‘I’. Now none can say that I am other than thee or that thou art other than me”.

It was a very happy day indeed when, at Fatehgarh, where my Master used to hold the annual spiritual gathering or Bhandara, I suddenly experienced by Master’s Grace a state of absorption in Brahman similar to His own. It repeated itself three times. I felt convinced that it was the real state which I must achieve. Since then I began to adjust myself to bring about the real state. It was not a mere conception that I was in that state, but something real started to awaken in me. I went on doing all that silently without telling it even to my Master.

The Master’s remembrance arose in me the very day He had transmitted to me for the first time. So I was continuing it with three things together – constant remembrance of the Master; adjusting myself to bring about that condition of absorption or Laya Avastha which my Master had; and reading and experiencing what was happening in the region I was in at that time.

As I said before, I started meditation upon His form within my heart. In the beginning the form remains in view but after some time the vision begins to fade away, till only a reflection, Aakaar, remains. This too melts away after some time and only an idea of it remains. Besides this I used to meditate upon his complete form placed before me. The subsequent stages involved in the process are also similar. After some practice the form grows subtler and subsequently begins to fade away, leaving in its place a mere idea of it. When that too disappears, the abhyasi should take it as a mere supposition that it is there. Later on, when that supposition too vanishes, there comes the second stage. But this must come naturally and automatically, and not by willed effort to create this condition. At this stage the abhyasi begins to feel himself as the Master. If he is sensitive enough, he then begins to feel that all parts of his body, limbs, etc., are those of the Master. Here again I shall repeat the same warning that this must also develop naturally and automatically, and not by willed effort. If the abhyasi goes along in the correct manner, the body idea will soon begin to vanish. He will begin to feel that the body is neither his nor of the Master. But still he should have the idea that his body is that of the Master. When that idea vanishes, he should suppose that he is the Master. In the end, when the supposition also fades away, the process will bring itself of the third stage – that is the soul within the Master. This will complete all steps automatically, after which there remains neither the idea of the body nor of the soul. He is nowhere now, and the task is practically over. When I was in this last state of meditation on soul, I was asked by my Master in a dream to meditate on the soul itself and He told me the process also which was a below:

“Lie down straight upon the bed without movement and meditate upon soul for some time.”

I did it for all full month, taking leave from the office in order to devote maximum time to it. It was all due to the Grace of my Master, and Master alone, that this process came to my mind automatically – each step itself giving a clue to the next step.

Of course my Master never asked anybody to meditate upon His form, and I am proud that I was the only person who adopted this process though there were many other who used to have his remembrance off and on. After completing this entire process I thought of bringing into effect the negation of negation, and had started doing it while Master’s Grace showered on me in torrents. Soon afterwards my Master revealed to me that He would have taken some more time but, since I had started the last process, he was compelled to allot work to me. Otherwise it would not have been possible for me to train other. This will come later on. During my abhyas or practice I felt a strange experience that every thing in the world, even the bricks and stones, leaves and flowers, were radiating the force of Divinity all over; and liking and devotion were so great that I wanted to embrace even thistles in love. It lasted for about a week or so. Then another thing opened which I have dealt with mostly in my book “Towards Infinity”. Many other things followed about which I informed my Master from time to time through letters. He also replied to a few letters.

On the morning of the 15th August 1931 I found an utmost Force or Power both within and outside me which, my inner voice assured me, had been bestowed by my Master. My Master had gone into the state of Maha-Samadhi on the night of the 14th August 1931, but I had not known about it yet. This was the usual system of transfer of power adopted by saints of calibre. It was in fact the merging of the Master into me.

When I came back from my office in the evening, my cousin-sister informed me about this sad news of the passing of my Master. It came as a terrible shock to me, and the impression of the shock lasted for years; and it is still there, ina somewhat reduced state. I took leave from the office to go for the condolence, but I developed diarrhoea and the whole leave period was spent in sickness, which was ultimately pronounced to be cholera. The diarrhoea lasted for several months afterwards. After recovery from cholera I saw Him one day in a dream at about 7a.m. in the morning. He asked me, “What is the condition of the diarrhoea?” I said, ‘It is continuing”. He said that I should give up Allopathic treatment. I left it from that very time. He then asked me, “What is your spiritual condition?” I said, “This, you know best.” I meant to say that it was His responsibility. He said, “Is it so?” I said, “Yes, My Lord”. He then gave me a jerk of transmission. I found that the whole of my body from top to toe was filled with spiritual force. When He gave the second jerk my heart was about to burst and I felt extreme pain in the heart. A third jerk would have ended my life, but for this very purpose Rishis of yore practiced penance in the forest for several years, sacrificing everything at the altar of spirituality. So it was not proper on my part to have requested Him to stop the transmission. I had been to Master for this very object at that time I was gaining it, for no price. I expressed myself in another way. I said, “Oh Master! I do not care if I die.” When he heard it, he was almost started and stopped the transmission.

Now I relate here the effect of that transmission. I found that for several days He was seated in every pore of my being and in every particle of my body. It continued for some time. This is a highly developed state which the saints crave for. It shows the full absorbency in the Master.

I used to write my condition to my Master, but I did not keep copies. When he ordered His disciples to record their spiritual condition in a diary, I started keeping a copy of it also which will follow now.